


Fear and Loathing

by wellthizizdeprezzing



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: BDSM, Dom! Emma, Dom! Regina, Dom/sub Undertones, F/F, Regina helps emma get over killian, Romance, Smut, Sub! Emma, Whips and Chains, discovering preferences, night club
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:13:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23479024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellthizizdeprezzing/pseuds/wellthizizdeprezzing
Summary: After a nasty break up, Emma stumbles by accident into a BDSM club where she seeks to forget with pleasure. Regina, the owner of the club, is more than happy to help her.
Relationships: Evil Queen | Regina Mills/Emma Swan
Comments: 46
Kudos: 207





	1. Prologue

Killian can go fuck himself, Emma thinks savagely as she stomps down the darkened streets. He can go jump off a bridge for all she cares, especially after she caught him in bed with another woman. She had been so overcome, she had grabbed the nearest thing next to her, which happened to be his lamp, and tossed it right at his stupid head before she had rushed out, too upset to stay.

And now, here she was in the bitter cold, hurting and looking to hurt. How she would have loved to punch his face in. How dare he cheat on her after all the shit she's done for him. How dare he! He really is the lowest of the low. She grinds her teeth together.

She needs a drink. Needs something to take her mind off of this. She hasn't drank in months and she knows she's regressing but she can't fucking care right now. Not when she feels so betrayed and so dumb.

And she knew who that girl was. Tink. The girl he had told her not to be worried about when she had every right to be worried.

Fuck. She was so upset right now.

Luckily she could see a club coming up. She was cold so she needed to stop there. Maybe get a drink. Maybe calm down.

Or even better. Fuck someone to spite him. Yes, that's what she would do. She didn't even care who she found, she'd sleep with them if only to get back at him. The bouncer carded her as she came up, before ushering her in. The music inside the club was weird. Emma had never heard anything like it. For one, it was almost all in German and it was like EDM but grittier.

And she could see, that she wasn't the usual fare for the customer type here. Almost all of them wore black or leather in some form and a few even had spiked material adorning their body. Emma passed by a guy with chains trailing out of his nose and a Mohawk that added a foot to his thin frame.

In her sweater and jeans combo, and with her blonde hair, she really stand out. Still, she pushed her way to the bar through the dancing bodies and ordered herself the strongest drink on the menu.

The bar tender gave her a judgmental look over but said nothing as he went to make the drink. Emma tapped her fingers on the bar top. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea- just coming into any random club. She didn't think she'd find anyone to sleep with here. She'd take her drink and leave after she drank it.

The drink arrived and she picked it up and walked around. It was a pretty big place which it didn't look like from the outside. The outside was an old brick low rise and when going down some metal stairs that creaked and groaned like they would fall any second, one entered a warehouse height room. The dance floor was here and strobe lights played ad nasuem as the DJ in the corner span his disks.

Emma quickly chugged down her drink, tossing out the plastic cup it had come in. She'd better use the bathroom before she left. But where even was it? Scanning wildly, she saw that a group of girls was heading somewhere, and knowing girls traveled in groups to the bathroom, Emma went after them. She followed these three girls going down a second pair of stairs, a staircase that was more well hidden.

The music down here was different. Quieter. The halls seemed to muffle the sounds more. And there were many rooms off to the sides, each with a slit on the wall that anyone could look into. What was all this? Emma lost track of the three girls as they took a turn somewhere and disappeared. Emma peered in through the glass and her jaw dropped as she saw what was happening inside.

A man and a woman were on a bed there. The man having handcuffed the woman and kneeling naked over her equally naked form. He had a long stick in one hand and was trailing it down her body. He was saying something to her but the light was too dim inside the room and Emma couldn't make out what he was saying. But whatever he was, the woman shook her head no to it and was rewarded with such a sharp flick of the stick that it startled Emma even if she couldn't hear the sharp slap it must have made. Her heart was pounding in her chest.

Oh, this was a sex club. A kinky sex club at the looks of those leather outfits and those whips hanging off the walls.

Emma hadn't expected that, but it surely would make things a lot easier to find someone to sleep with. She even had a room here if she wanted one. So, did she dare to try and find someone to revenge herself with on Killian?

"Interested?" a sultry voice asked behind her and Emma turned, guilty and red faced at being caught staring at people having sex.

Having silently arrived, a woman stood behind Emma, dressed in all black and almost melting into the dark shades of the hallway. What Emma could make of her was that she was gorgeous, shadows casting over high cheekbones and red lips that were twisted up deviously.

"Uh, I just-" Emma awkwardly fumbled with her words. The woman laughed at this.

"You are adorable," she murmured and the way she said this, paired with the way her eyes did a sweep of Emma's figure, lit something inside Emma's stomach. It must be the alcohol, Emma thought of the unexpected burn. "Is this your first time here?"

Emma nodded her head, for some reason unable to speak properly in front of this gorgeous woman. There was just this intimidating air about her. "Welcome to Fear and Loathing. A night club for those with special interests."

"A sex club, you mean," Emma couldn't help from correcting, finding her tongue coming back and only to make such inane points.

The woman arched a brow slowly. "No, a BDSM club."

That explained the whips and chains Emma had seen lining the room that couple had been in.

"Are you interested in getting a room?" the mysterious woman asked.

Emma shook her head quickly, her curls bouncing. "No, I mean- I don't know. I left my house looking to sleep with someone because I wanted to get back at my ex but I don't know if I'm into BDSM- at least I don't think I am, so-" Emma is blabbering and she cuts herself off. She can't help though, this woman makes her nervous and she doesn't know why.

"There's only one way to find out if you're into something like that. And it's to try it. I can help set you up, if you'd like. You don't have to commit to anything, but just see if you'd like it."

Emma doesn't know who this woman is, but fuck it. Emma's too hurt by Killian tonight. Maybe she should go with this woman and see what the deal is with BDSM. Emma doesn't know much about it, except that it involves pain and pleasure in equal measure.

"Alright," Emma says with little conviction.

The woman beams. "That's what I like to hear," she says and leads the way down the hall. There are so many twists and turns and everything is so dark here that Emma doesn't know if she'll be able to find her way back up.

They eventually get to another pair of stairs, this one leading up partially. And at the end is a room. The woman opens it, Emma drawn to the way the woman's shoulder blades flex under the dark material of her shirt before she tears her eyes away, confused by her own gandering.

The room is an office. And it smells nice inside. Like incense though Emma spots none lit. It's bright in here, making Emma blink in the harshness of the light. It's also neat here and the woman sits behind her desk, taking out some pamphlets. It's at this moment that Emma realizes, maybe this woman isn't just another customer here.

"Do you...like work here?" Emma asks and winces at how lame this sounds.

The woman looks amused at this. "I do. I own this club in fact."

"Oh." Emma feels truly dumb now.

The woman hands over the pamphlets to Emma. "Here is information on what BDSM is, what it entails, all the rules of conduct of it, and the rules that follow in my club."

"Um...thank you..."

"Regina. My name is Regina," Regina states and out of the shadows, in the full light, she looks even more stunning. Emma has to avert her eyes.

"I'm Emma."

"Nice to meet you Em-ma," Regina says, somehow rolling Emma's name on her tongue like it was a sweet. It makes Emma's stomach explode. "I hope to see you around."

"Right. Thank you." Emma nods her head and leaves the office. It takes her about half an hour to find the way back up and exit the club and by the time she's walking home, she realizes she hadn't used the bathroom, nor did she enact her plan of revenge against Killian. But she's no longer angry. Instead, she's a mix of new emotions that almost leave her giddy and she can't explain why exactly.

Emma gets home at half past three, having not found anyone to fuck. Instead she comes home with a bunch of paper, a new possible interest, and butterflies in her stomach from Regina saying her name, that won't go away.


	2. Lonely Hearts Club

"Is this the last box of your shit?" Emma drawls, arms crossed over her chest. Killian grunts as he balances it in his arms, the weight of it heavy. Unlike his guilt. He doesn't seem an inch remorseful for what he's done.

"Yes, this should be it," he assures in that cocky British tone of his that Emma no longer finds attractive. She no longer finds anything about him attractive. She doesn't know what she ever saw in him in the first place and she hates herself for wasting her time on him when he clearly never was as involved emotionally in this relationship as she was.

He pauses a bit, waiting around for her, as if he expects her to say something. "What?" she arches up a brow, coming of as rude but not caring.

"Well...just, this is it?" he questions her, as if it's odd she wants to have nothing else to do with him. "No, goodbye or anything?"

"The fuck do you expect Killian, when you broke my fucking heart and slept with a whore!" she spits out, truly upset with him. It's been a rough three months since the break up. It took him forever to pack his shit up and she cannot be more grateful today is the last of his things because she does not want to see him. Ever again. She needs space to recover and to get back to a good place.

"But we had something good, love. Aren't you going to thank me for the memories?" he states and she snorts, in utter disbelief over how arrogant he is. She flips him the finger and swings the front door shut on him, not wanting to have to waste time on him. He shouts something at her but she leaves, going to plop down on her sofa.

She's tired.

And angry.

Idly she picks up one of the BDSM pamphlets she has in the night stand by the sofa and looks at it contemplatively. She hasn't gone back to the club ever since she first stumbled in there. She read all the pamphlets and she still wasn't sure if she was into BDSM. Maybe if she spoke to the pretty club owner she could figure something out. Emma still remembered meeting Regina like it had happened last night. The woman had such a visceral presence that Emma couldn't get her out of her mind. Her stomach twisted each time she thought of her, and Emma figured it was because she was intimidated by Regina's beauty and aura of power.

Now that Emma didn't have to deal with Killian's shit anymore, should she go back?

Emma twisted her lips up in contemplation, tapping the creased paper against her lips. She'd looked these pamphlets over so many times that they were getting worn in certain parts.

Fuck. She had nothing else to do. Maybe she might even find someone to help mend her broken heart. Emma pulled on her jacket and left out in the broad daylight, hands shoved into her jeans. She walked over to the club and found that while it was open, not many people were inside. And those who were, were talking, sitting on several sofas or chairs. It was only six pm, too early for any serious partying.

And during the day, this place felt less grungy and Emma could see it more clearly. It had heavy brick and mortar walls, decorated with nude posters of men and women. Some neon lights were on, words in a language she didn't recognize.

Emma went in, wondering how she would go about finding Regina. Did she just go to Regina's office herself, or did she have to book an appointment in advance? Emma wiped her suddenly sweaty hands on her jeans. Why the hell was she nervous?

And why did she feel like she should have dressed up a bit more for this?

She went over to the bar tender, figuring she could get a drink for courage. "Give me your strongest shot," she told the woman who was bent over some boxes, re-shelving empty bottles. The woman straightened up and Emma swallowed when she saw who it was.

Regina, wearing a neck scarf and all black. She was always so dressed up in dark suits when Emma saw her.

Regina's eyes do a once over on her, before her lips curl up in a smile. She's got her hair in natural waves today and there's dark kohl around her eyes. "Ah, I remember you."

"You do?" Emma blurts out, shocked. She wasn't aware she'd made such an impression. She hoped it was a good one.

"I was hoping you'd come back and try out some BDSM. You looked like you could use some relief." Her eyes did a quick decisive sweep of Emma again. Emma felt the urge to duck her head shyly at this, wishing she had worn better clothes. "And you look even more in need of it today."

"How can you tell?" Emma asks as she sits down at the bar, Regina setting up a shot glass and pouring her a shot with the fresh bottle she had in hand. Emma watches her pour, hands deft. Her nails are short but painted black and the sleeves of her suit jacket are rolled up, revealing Regina's got a very expensive Rolex watch on.

"I can sense this tension about you. And your body looks stiff and your mouth has a very firm line about it," Regina reads off casually.

Emma is impressed. "You should like go on a talent show or something with that ability to read me." She chuckles and downs the shot. It burns.

"Once you work as long as I have in this field, you pick it up. It's important to be able to read body language because that makes all the difference in play," she said smoothly. "Would you like to learn more?"

"Yea...I do. I read the pamphlets and tried to do my own research but I'm still unsure about so many things," Emma confessed.

"I'd be more than happy to explain them to you. But not now. I have some restocking to do. I would not mind meeting with you on a free day." Regina reached into her back pocket and produced a card. It was black, with gold lettering. It was her business card. "Call me to set up a time."

"Right," Emma said, and cleared her throat when she felt it a bit hard to swallow. She pocketed the card and took out her wallet to pay for drinks. Regina put a hand on hers to stop her. Emma looked up slowly, meeting Regina's eyes. "Shot's on the house."

"Oh...thank you," Emma breathed out.

* * *

Emma didn't know when it would be appropriate to call. She thumbed Regina's card so much in her hand that she'd worn down the edges. What would she even say to her? She was nervous which wasn't like her. She rarely got nervous doing things but Regina just...made her feel this way for no reason. Or maybe there was a reason, Emma just couldn't grasp it yet.

Eventually, she gathered up enough bravery to call Regina on Friday. The phone rang for so long Emma decided that Regina wasn't going to pick up. But just as Emma was going to hang up, Regina picked up. "Regina Mills speaking, how may I help you?"

Emma's breath caught in the back of her throat. Regina's voice sounded amazing even through the phone. "Hello?" Regina asked and Emma rushed to answer, pulling herself out of her haze. "Hi, it's um, it's me."

"And whose me?" Regina said with faint amusement.

"Emma. Emma Swan. You told me to call you?"

"Yes, that I did. I wanted us to set up a time to meet in person. I find these transactions are so much easier to grasp rather when face to face."

"Right. When are you free?"

"I can do tomorrow before noon. And then I can take you to my club and we can see what you're made of if you agree to the idea."

Emma felt her stomach squeeze at the connotation. She clamped down on her bottom lip to try to lessen the breathless quality of her voice as she answered. "Right. Um, I'll be there. Just name the place."

Regina rattled off the address and then hung up. Emma flopped down on the bed, just staring at the ceiling. She had a date with Regina. That wasn't a date. But it felt like one. Because they were going to arrange for naughty things afterwards.

* * *

"This is a neat little cafe," Emma said as she sat down. The décor was very french, not something Emma would have pegged Regina as liking. The woman was sitting dressed in all black, but this time in a chiffon shirt that was nearly sheer and had a neck tie that Emma wondered how Regina would react if she pulled on.

Wow, what was that idea? Emma instantly felt ashamed of it.

"I know you think it's not me," Regina said at Emma's lackluster comment.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way- just, well, I don't really know anything about you to even make judgments," Emma stammered to fix as squirmed lightly in her seat.

Regina's lips corner crooked up. "I'm just teasing. I actually don't like this type of cafe but I figured you might. It's well known for hearty meals and sweets and you'll need a lot of energy for today."

Emma could feel a blush creep up her neck at the suggestion. She lowered her voice self consciously. "Just what exactly are we doing today?"

"I have an entertainer on stand by should you decide to go through with it, and then, you'll have your first session."

"Oh." Emma felt hot all over. She would get to do it. Would get to dom someone.

"Eat up," Regina smiled, enjoying Emma's reaction. "You're going to be very busy."

Emma ordered a lot of eggs and some tea to help wash it down. Regina had a smaller meal and black coffee to go with her food.

Emma wanted to make conversation with Regina so this wasn't awkward. She also wanted to learn more about her. She just didn't know what was safe to ask. "So..." Emma began hesitantly. "Why name the club fear and loathing?"

"Because it was all I had when I first ran away from my mother." Regina said straight away and without holding back.

"Oh." Emma swallowed her eggs down harshly. She didn't know what to say to this.

"She was a delightful woman, really," is the thick sarcasm. "I ran from my home, from her, ran from Germany, and came here with nothing more than a couple of bills in my pocket. I dommed to make money. I worked my ass off at the young age of sixteen and managed to make something of myself." Regina gave a smile at the end of this but it didn't reach her eyes.

"I'm...sorry to hear that," Emma said quietly.

"Don't be. It's in the past," Regina assured.

Shit, Emma had hit a sensitive topic. She had to abort!

"Black your favorite color?"

"You could say that," Regina confirmed with a small nod. "But really, you don't need to do small talk, Emma. You can ask me more about my past if you like. It's cathartic to talk shit about my mother."

"I'd rather learn more about you and not her. What was Germany like? You don't have any trace of an accent."

"I spent hours desperately studying and learning English to sound natural. I learned English in Germany of course. My mother only insisted on the best for me, and that I be the best in return. I was natural at English and had amazing grades in that and in French which I can speak fluently. I just had a small accent which I eventually got rid of."

"Why get rid of it? It's part of you, part of your culture," Emma pointed out.

Regina waved a hand to dismiss this. "I already had trouble getting here and finding a job, I didn't need my chances to be limited even more. It's not easy being a woman in this industry. It's even less easy to be respected.

"But, tell me a bit more about you," Regina concluded. "You're a mystery to me, Emma."

Emma didn't know where to start. "I don't have as interesting of a story. You already know I broke up with my asshole of an ex. I was an orphan, stayed in the system until I was old enough to age out, went to a community college to get my degree and then got a job. And I've been just taking life one day at a time."

"Your life story is interesting Emma. Everyone's is, because it's always so different and so unique," Regina assured. "We carry our stories with us everywhere we go. Even into the bedroom, which is why some of us enjoy the things we do even if others say it's sin."

Emma gave a wry smile. "You're the one who tempted me to it."

"Did I now?" Regina arches a brow.

"I never thought I'd be interested until I stumbled into your club."

"That's your own fault for entering the club. I didn't tell you to come," Regina teased back. Emma liked this teasing banter of there's. It felt like they were getting closer.

"No, you didn't," Emma snorted playfully. "But I think I've cruised through life enough. I want to make changes." She hadn't admitted this to anyone before because she was afraid to say she was unhappy with her life. But something about the intensity of Regina's eyes on her told her she could tell Regina this.

"Change is good. It can be something small, like a haircut, or something large like moving away. Change means you want to progress."

"Maybe you should double as a psychologist too. Speaking wise words and shit," Emma said, taking the last sip of their tea. The meal was done. They would be heading to Regina's club shortly.

"I wouldn't consider myself wise, just having lived."

Emma sensed a story behind that. "It sounds like you used to get up to crazy things."

"When I ran away, yes. I was able to experience the freedom I never had. I could put wild college stories to shame," she assured with a devious wink.

"You've got to tell me them!" Emma sat up straighter, intrigued.

Regina gave a small chuckle. "One day," she said.

They split the bill and then went on their way, Regina leading Emma to her car. It was a 1980s Mercedes Benz, in all black. Emma began to feel her stomach churn with nerves. This was it. She was going to finally meet the woman she was supposed to dom, and fucking dom her. Finally, a release for all her anger at Killian and how he'd fucked her over.

Emma took the passenger seat as Regina smoothly drove them across town to her club.

"Why'd you quit domming?" Emma asked, still curious about Regina.

Regina did not take her eyes off the road to address Emma. "Age mainly. I was getting older and I know what happens to aging women in this industry. Besides I had enough money saved up to make an investment, and finally a citizenship that would allow me to run a business."

"Aging?" Emma said in shock under her breath. Regina looked stunning. Not a day over thirty. How old was she?

Regina caught Emma's comment. She gave a rueful smile. "In this industry, anyone over twenty eight is considered old. It's best to work hard when young and in demand and then amass all that money for personal investments."

"How young were you when you dommed? You said you ran away from home at 14."

"I wandered Germany for a while, hitchhiking my way across with some American travelers. I got to France with them and that's where I met the woman who introduced me to this all."

Emma felt a spark of jealousy in her stomach at this. The idea of Regina being taught by another woman was discomforting to Emma. In fact, Regina being with others in general kind of bothered her. She hated to think why this was the case.

"Weren't you too young?"

"No; girls start young in the sex trade. I was fifteen by that time, and certainly mature beyond my years due to emotional trauma. But Mallory, the woman I met, she taught me all the techniques I would need to be successful. And then bought me a ticket to the US so I could truly escape my mother."

"That was generous of her."

Regina nodded her head in confirmation. "Said I reminded her of her daughter. She had the same fiery spirit."

"Why pick this trade? You could have gone in any direction."

"I wanted to do something that would hurt my mother. She wanted me to be a refined woman of class, so what could hurt more than me doing something so depraved," Regina said with the hint of a small smile. "I took comfort in knowing if she ever saw me like this, she'd have a coronary."

"At least you know your mother," Emma said a touch wistfully. She'd never known her parents. What were they liked? How would she react to seeing them? She used to wonder about this constantly but had stopped once she became a teen and realized she'd never have those answers and it would only hurt to continue thinking on them.

"I wish I didn't," Regina admitted, pulling the car to a stop. They were here. Emma wondered how bad Regina's mother truly was.

They got out, in front of Fear and Loathing. Inside, Emma would be domming someone for the first time ever. She squared her shoulders back, took a deep steadying breath, and followed Regina in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Will Emma be able to dom correctly? Hmmmm, who knows.


	3. Teen Idle

Emma sat slouched in her seat, hating herself just a bit. She was in Regina's office, the woman handing her a bottle of cool water as she walked past her and to her desk. She had a cigarette clamped in between her teeth that was unlit. "Don't be so harsh on yourself," she told Emma as she took out a lighter and lit up her tar stick. Sweet smelling smoke curled up from around her mouth.

Emma gave a half hearted smile, squeezing the bottle in her hand but she didn't make a move to drink. "I messed up, didn't I?" She doesn't look up. She feels like she let Regina down. Offended her. Even if she hadn't meant to.

"It was your first time. This sort of thing takes practice, Emma." Regina doesn't seem upset, but it's hard to read her face. She's always got a wall up behind her eyes that says she's honest but only if she wants others to know what she's truly thinking or feeling.

Emma thinks back to the session.

The twenty something year old woman had been attractive, kneeling on the bed and waiting for Emma. Regina stood by the edge, making sure that the session went accordingly. Emma had felt lost. She'd read articles and watched videos but nothing prepared her for the real thing. She had grabbed a whip and stood there dumbly with it as she'd ordered in a slightly trembling voice for the woman to call her mistress and get on her knees on the floor so Emma could start the 'punishments'. Except Regina had stepped it, told Emma she was holding the whip wrong and that it would hurt the sub too much if it was held this way and then used.

Emma had quickly lost whatever steam she had and asked Regina to demonstrate. So Regina had and...well, Emma didn't think she could ever compare to even the minute long instruction that Regina had given.

Now, distracted by visions of Regina commanding and leering powerfully over the sub, it prevented Emma from focusing at all on the sub who had been roused by Regina.

Emma kept messing up the play until eventually Regina had called it quits.

Emma found that no matter how much anger she had inside her, she could not hurt the person, even if it would cause pleasure. No, Emma could not hurt others, and that was why she was the one always hurt.

Was something wrong with her?

"Is something the matter, dear?" Regina asked kindly as Emma was deep in her thoughts, and Emma shrugged.

"I thought I really wanted to dom. I have all this anger inside me. But I can't do it. I just...can't." She felt like a failure, like she had disappointed Regina's expectations.

"That is exactly why you shouldn't be a dom," Regina said briskly, hands in her pockets. "Domming someone shouldn't occur because you have anger issues. Domming should occur because you enjoy power. You enjoy controlling someone, bringing them to the heights of pleasure." Regina's speech began to become more passionate, and slightly disapproving of Emma's earlier words. "Domming isn't about you, it's about the sub. They are always your first priority. Their safety and their pleasure first, even if you act like it's about you. Do you understand?"

"I do now," Emma said, a hint remorseful. She internally winced at saying the wrong thing but she couldn't take it back now.

"A lot of people make that mistake. But whether they can change their mindset and learn, that determines if they can be good doms." Regina got up, to open a window so to let some of the smoke out. "Call me when you decide what you really want to do."

"I don't want to just give up," Emma said, worried that Regina would push her away. Would tell her to not come back. Worried that this is the end of her journey into BDSM before it can even have begun.

"So don't. Come back when you're ready." Regina gave Emma a small smile.

With that Emma knew she had been dismissed.

* * *

But what did being ready mean? Did it mean Emma actually not being a dom but a sub? She didn't know. All she knew was Regina had been...wow. The way she smoothly transitioned from regular but mysterious business woman into a domineering woman who would barely bat an eye at the people groveling for her attention. The way she handled that whip, handled the sub. The inherent eroticism of her looking displeased at everything the sub offered to her. It was an art, simply put, and Emma was the unworthy student of it.

Emma wished she could be like that. But she also wished she could have Regina be like that with her. Emma groaned into her pillow and rolled over on her bed. Was she attracted to Regina? Did she like her? It fucking seemed like it. Emma had admired women before, not minding if she could kiss them. But she'd never wanted to sleep with one until Regina.

Why was that? Was it because Emma was going through a midlife crisis? Fuck. She didn't know. And she didn't know who she could ask about this. She'd been with Killian for so long she never really considered if her attraction to woman ran deeper.

Taking her phone out, she began to google things.

What if this was just a phase?

What if it wasn't?

And what the hell did Emma care, as long as got over Killian? She was allowed to act out. She was allowed to try something new. For too long, she had been focused on living the life her ex had wanted for her. Now she was going to live the life she wanted for herself.

Even if that meant having a burgeoning attraction to an accomplished ex-dominatrix.

* * *

"Well, you came fast," Emma said in surprise when she saw Ruby standing on her door stoop.

"Girl, you texted something so juicy, of course I had to come," Ruby cheered, staggering up the stairs in her platform wedges, wearing a mink around her shoulder and holding a bottle in her hand.

"Are you drunk?" Emma asked as Ruby breezed past her inside, a cloud of alcohol following her.

"Maybe," Ruby said playfully, settling the bottle down. "But you officially are done with that piece of trash, Killian, and now you're free. And, you're crushing on a hot older woman." Ruby sat herself down on Emma's couch like she had no intention of getting up until Emma had spilled everything.

She patted the seat cushion next to her and Emma sat down as Ruby cranked the bottle open and handed it over to Emma. Emma chugged it down, wincing at the strong taste.

"We need to celebrate you breaking up with him." It was no secret that Ruby had not liked Killian but put up with him for Emma's sake. "And finding the new love of your life."

Emma rolls her eyes, takes a slower and more thoughtful sip of her liquor. "She's not the new love of my life." But the way she says this, makes it seem more of a sullen fact than a denial.

"You sent me two exclamation points when you wrote about her. In Emma speak, that means you're practically married to her," Ruby says sagely and wagging a finger at Emma as she lays on the couch, slumping in her drunk state.

Emma can't help but laugh at this. "How did you get this drunk before coming here? It's only ten."

"Ah, you assume I'm still not drunk from last night," Ruby says and winks at Emma. "But, don't try to throw this off of me. Spill. I'm here to listen to you lament." Emma appreciated that, because she knew Ruby was popular and busy as hell always going to do one thing or another. So the fact she spent the time to come to Emma, was nice.

"Alright. Well, she's...just...so mature. And sophisticated," Emma couldn't help but gush a bit. "And I want to get to know her better. Like, we already talked and stuff but I still feel like there's so much more to her. She sounds like she has a rich life."

"Where did you met her?"

"At a club," Emma says vaguely, taking another sip. It burns down her throat. It feels nice now. Helps her be more free in her words. "Actually, the same night I decided it was over between Killian and I. She was there, and she talked some sense into me."

"She sounds like a solid woman."

"Yea, and I wanna impress her."

"So, hit her up. Be all casual like. Compliment her, say she's cool and you wanna get to know her better. And then seduce her on these dates."

"I have no seduction skills. Never have," Emma shook her head. Regina, on the other hand, could seduce anyone, she's sure of it. Especially when she turns on her dom charm. "And she's just so...accomplished and I feel like I'm nothing."

"You are not nothing, Emma Swan!" Ruby admonishes. "You are a freaking badass woman who don't need no man. Because you need this woman." Ruby fishes out her phone. "Let's brainstorm some ideas about dates. And then take her on one."

Emma peered in as Ruby typed some suggestions up.

* * *

Ruby had helped a lot, even if Emma didn't have the gall to follow up on any of those plans just yet. Because something else, something bigger, sat on her mind. The fact of domming. And the session that awaited Emma.

It was two weeks since then, Emma having spent this time ruminating on what the heck she was going to do. She had flip flopped a lot but now she thought she was in a good enough place, having ascertained a decision about what it was she wanted. This didn't mean she wasn't nervous about it; she was. Terribly so. Because she could get rejected and then she would look like an idiot in front of the one person she kinda wanted to impress.

"Can you...can you dom me?" Emma asked in timorous voice, resisting the urge to blush madly.

She didn't know how Regina would react to this. But Emma had to ask. It had been on her mind since forever and it wasn't letting her sleep. The question had become an itch under her skin. One that would not let go.

At first it looked like Regina didn't know how to respond. She sat up, lips parting and opening several times before she spoke. "Emma, I don't really dom anymore," she said at last.

"I know. But I...I don't know if I'm a masochist instead and I don't know anyone else I could ask. I don't know anyone else that I could _trust_ , to hurt me so I could figure out if it's true or not." It was almost crazy. Emma had been hurt by Killian, been hurt by so many others in her life. Why would she want to be hurt more? But maybe in some twisted manner, she wanted pain because it was all she ever knew. It was a comfort to her.

Regina pursed her lips, tapping her long fingers on the wood as she contemplated this. Her dark eyes were unreadable and at last she exhaled softly, sitting up more. "Alright, Emma. I'll do it for you."

Emma resists the urge to smile widely in relief. She hadn't known how badly she craved Regina's answer to this until she had it. "Thank you. I appreciate it, really."

"I'll need time to make preparations. And we'll need to discuss this extensively. Consent is very important in BDSM play, especially because serious harm can occur if it's done wrong," Regina warned but Emma was already off, imagining the delicious ways Regina could dom her. Granted, it was a limited fantasy because Emma had only seen a handful of plays, but she was excited regardless. Excitement turned to arousal that stayed in her lower belly. She couldn't wait for this day to come fast enough.

* * *

They agreed on Saturday night to meet again. This time, they met in Regina's office. It was dimly lit this time and she sat behind her desk, a lit cigarette between her fingers as she flipped through some files. She was wearing a suit today, black of course, and tight black trousers. Her hair was straightened and her lipstick was a darker red than normal.

Emma came into the office nervously, Regina stopping in perusal of a file on her desk. "Hello, Em-ma," she drawled, eyes glittering and Emma audibly gulped. This already felt so intimate. The darkened setting, the three buttons undone on Regina's shirt, the look in her eyes, the low timbre of her voice.

"Hi," Emma squeaked out and then cleared her throat as she took the seat in front of Regina. "I didn't know you smoked," she blurted out, trying to find her footing. She had come in here, doing her best to be cool and not freak out over how Regina would dom her. And yet, it hadn't worked. One look at Regina and she was a mess. Regina just exhumed too much energy; too much confidence.

And the line about smoking had been dumb. Emma had seen her smoking before, obviously. But her mind had just shot off on autopilot.

"It's bad habit of mine I haven't quite been able to entirely drop," Regina confessed. "Does the smoke bother you?"

It did a bit but Emma didn't want to hurt Regina's feelings. She hesitated, taking too long to say no and Regina snubbed out the cigarette. "First rule of being a sub, Emma. Transparency is a must. If you don't like something, say it. If you can't even say the smoke bothers you, then how can I trust you to say no to something I want to do to your body?"

Even as Emma was getting lightly scolded, she couldn't help the flush running down her. The thought of Regina doing anything to her body was nerve wracking, and so, damn appealing. "Sorry. I'll do my best."

"See, that you do, Emma. I like a sub who can please me well."

Another flush of heat. Shit, Emma was already so turned on. She didn't think she could last long. "Right," Emma nodded her head. "I'll do my best to please you."

"Then, let us proceed. I have a room reserved for us. A very special room that I only use for special guests," Regina stood up, snatching up some keys from her desk. She lead the way, Emma trailing after her. They went down another pair of stairs, even deeper down and to a lower level where few people were around. Regina stopped in front of a double door, sliding the key in. She pushed the doors open, like in a grand reveal. Emma gasped. This room looked nice.

It had a giant bed in the middle. A cage off to the side, and racks of any BDSM implement needed. Some candles were lit along the tables and the smell of cinnamon hung in the air. There were even some rose petals tossed on the sheets. It was more romantic than anything Killian had ever done for her in their entire relationship combined.

"Feel free to get comfortable," Regina said, closing the doors behind them and locking them. The click of the lock signaled this was real. This was actually going to happen. Emma took off her jacket and shoes too, not sure what else to do. She sat on the bed, nervous on what Regina would think of her.

But Regina wasn't even looking at her. She was turning on the lights of the vanity to make the room a bit brighter because the lights were dimmed low and they were red. The vanity made everything a bit less red. Done, Regina began to undress.

First, Regina took off her suit jacket, slowly and calmly hanging it off a chair. Then, she undid the next three buttons of her black and gray striped shirt revealing an even wider expanse of smooth skin and the sight of a black bra. She rolled up her sleeves to the elbows, in such an unhurried manner that Emma grew impatient.

She sat at the foot of the bed, anxious and excited. What was going to happen next? She sat on her hands to make them stop from fidgeting. Done, Regina looked on at Emma with a look Emma had never seen before. Like Emma was nothing to her. Not another human being, but something to be assessed coolly and in a detached manner with vague disgust. Like a rock.

"This is my playroom, Emma," Regina started and Emma waited eagerly for what would be said. "In this room, you belong to me." Emma felt a quiver in her lower belly at this. Fuck, that sounded amazing. To belong to Regina. Emma never thought the idea of being owned by someone else would be this tantalizing of a concept but it was even for someone as independent as Emma. "And because you are nothing more than my property," Regina enunciated properly, "you will refer to me as mistress. You do not speak until spoken to, you do not do anything I do not tell you to do."

Emma nodded her head while she could feel a heat burning between her thighs. She wouldn't mind listening to instructions from Regina. "Also, as a reminder that in this room, green means yes, yellow means that you're not sure, and red means no. Do you have a safe word picked out?"

"Bear claws."

Regina raised her brows on the choice but said nothing more on it. "Tell me whenever you are ready, Emma and we can begin. If you feel nervous, we can also reschedule."

Emma shook her head. "I'm...only a little bit nervous. But I want to do this. I _need_ to do this," she said firmly.

Regina nodded her head curtly. "Understood. But also understand this, there is no place for bratty subs in my playroom. If you cannot respect me, I will end the session."

"Clear," Emma gulped, not wanting to have this occur in any manner.

"Good," Regina said, pleased. "Now strip your clothes off and leave them neatly folded by the bed."

Emma wasn't expecting this right away. She was a bit floored by the request. "My-?" she looked questioningly at Regina. Regina did not take kindly to this. "Are you deaf? I said take off your clothes. Now!" she snapped out and Emma did so hastily. Emma had no qualms about her body. She was fit, with high levels of muscle tone despite her sugary diet. But being naked in front of Regina while the woman was fully dressed was intimidating. Still, Emma was more excited to see what this would lead to, so she did as asked and then sat down with her underwear still on.

Regina glanced over approvingly, dark eyes flickering. "Good. Scoot back on the bed. Open your legs."

Emma did and with that, the session was fully underway.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: A new BDSM fic. I wanted to try a story where it's not as clearly defined who the top or the bottom is which is going to lead to some fun ;) Let me know what ya think.


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